Move Forward, I Say (Golden)
by FrozenInsideTheWinter
Summary: Helena's thoughts on Gina being a cylon and when they met before the cylons attacked. (TWOSHOT)
1. Chapter 1: Meeting You

Helena placed the dagger on her desk with a sigh, remembering how much it had been through with her. She allowed herself to tear-up suddenly when she thought of Lucy, her five year-old sister. Only five when the person she trusted most abandoned her. Only five when she was taken by the cylons back at Caprica forty-one years ago. It seemed too cruel to her now that she had left her there, the little girl who depended on her throughout her entire short life. She was not one to feel guilty, for she loathed dwelling on the past, but when she thought about when she got back and saw only Lucy's favorite rag doll... Well... it was devastating.

But Helena was a woman of the present, and she preferred to keep it that way. To get her mind off of things, she went through applications for the new crew of Pegasus. One of them was particularly interesting. _Kendra Shaw._ _Shaw. _Ahhh yes. Definitely transferring to Pegasus. It would be interesting to-

"Admiral?"

She turned to see her Captain walk in looking nervous before standing at attention. She gave a small nod for him to relax and looked at him expectantly. After what seemed like forever of tapping her boot-clad foot she was ready to choke the words out of him.

"Well Captain?" she asked, irritated.

"Oh I um... Just wanted to say what an honor it is to be your Captain on this mission."

"Oh yes. Well the feeling is mutual, I assure you," she replied with a small smile. He gave her a charming smile of his own and left her by herself in her ready-room. She didn't bother to look up when someone else entered, so she assumed it was the Captain again.

"Captain, I appreciate your kindness but-" she finally looked up to see a tall blond woman in the place of the Captain. Her momories came boiling over:

_Helena bent next to her mother and father, who were covered in blood but managed to still be holding hands, even dead on the ground. She held a hysteric Lucy to her bruised side. She didn't know if it was safe to cry yet, so she covered her little sister's mouth with her dirty palm, not wanting to attract any cylons still waiting around._

_But when she saw the last cylon walk out and the clink of its metal body fade into the distance, she knew it was safe. Safe to cry into her mothers beautiful blond hair. Her father's broad chest. It was all so unbelieveable. How could this happen? Who even created the cylons anyway? Did they know this would happen? How could they do this? Helena had so many unanswered questions that she felt needed to be addressed. She only knew one thing. She would have to grow up real fast if she was going to protect Lucy. She was all her sister had left. Helena was five years older, and she knew she was going to be held to that. _

_She tugged a strand of dirty and tangled red-brown hair out of her face, feeling tears coming to her eyes. The sadness replaced the fear and anger she had been feeling earlier. The hate that a nearly ten year-old should not be feeling, she was sure. She remebered all the times her mother read to her, before Lucy had been born. All those times she had run to her father when he got home from work. It was over, all over now._

_So little Helena took one last look at her loving father. She took the pocket knife he gave her out of her pocket, remembering when he said it would protect her even in the most dangerous of times, like it did for him when he was a boy. She flipped open the blade and cut off a lock of her mother's beautiful blond hair that she so admired, that she was so sure had a shine and golden hue that nobody else ever had or will have. She tied the top and gave it to Lucy to put in her pocket. She did the same for herself and admired the beautiful color on her mother's still head one last time, before taking Lucy's hand and walking out of the shelter._

"Oh, you are?" Helena asked, wondering who the woman was. But the question suddenly seemed unimportant when she recognized the hair that she only thought had belonged to her mother all those years ago. She didn't realize she was staring until the woman broke her gaze in shyness before she looked back up. The new applicant laughed nervously, but to her it sounded like a silver bell.

"Um, Admiral? Did you hear me?" The blond asked softly. Helena snapped out of her trance and got up to see the nervous woman up close, who was clearly uncomfortable under the Admiral's scrutiny.

"My name is Gina Inviere. I will be your new network administrator for Pegasus. It's a pleasure to meet you," Gina repeated, this time offering her hand to the Admiral. Gina's unsure smile widened with greater confidence when Helena shook her hand gently, as if it was going to break.

"Helena Cain. Well, I'm sure you'll do a fine job, Gina. And the pleasure's all mine," she replied with a small smile of her own. Obviously Gina was slightly puzzled about why the admiral was being so kind and familiar with her, and frankly so was she. Helena took a small step back after shaking her hand, feeling a bit to comfortable with Gina in her personal space. _Gina? Wait, what?_

_Miss Inviere_ had started talking about quite important things for ship security, she was sure, and Helena nodded and tilted her head in all the right points of their 'conversation', but she only had eyes and thoughts at the moment. She knew they were going to get along just fine as they shared smiles and laughter for the rest of their already-planned afternoon.

_**Okay guys, so this was a pretty shocking couple to find out about, eh? Well, I had my suspicions. ;) But anyway, I really don't usually ship girl/girl couples but I think this was a couple gone way too soon. After all, its both my favorite characters together. I just had to write this after I saw Razor last weekend. :) But not to worry, this is;**_

_to be continued..._


	2. Chapter 2: Forgetting You

Helena Cain walked down the metal hall of the brig. To say it was an unpleasant place with its constant smell of blood and metallic rings of any noise made would be an understatement. She was on her way to see _it. _The cylon who had played her feelings in order to get information about Pegasus. It was disgusting. She felt like the biggest fool alive, how else should she feel? She had had so many great feelings about Gina. Gina had been so sweet, so thoughtful of her feelings. Helena hadn't felt like that in a very long time. It hurt severely to think that she had only been pretending, never caring about her. Never being _able _to care. She wasn't able to believe it when she saw Gina's duplicate on the moniter, when her favorite person had pointed a _gun _at her, ready to shoot. But Gina had hesitated, _flinched_, and thus she was in the brig.

That's why she waited to visit her- no, _it_, until the next day. She had to have time to gather herself, to make sure that when she saw the damage done to her cylon on her order that she wouldn't flinch, wouldn't look away. She wanted to let it know that she hates it. It in particular. But she really doesn't. Deep down, she still really loves it. That's why she had to do this. She couldn't let her feelings get in the way of her job, which was to protect the crew.

_"Do what you will with it."_

_Thorn nodded, stepping inside the cell. The cylon still managed to keep her same position despite her obvious fear and looked at her with a pleading face. Her blue eyes said it all. Helena wondered how she could look at her like that if she was a machine. But Helena still had yet to learn the complexities of cylon software. She held Gina's gaze with dissapointment and anger until Thorn grabbed slapped the cylon harshly and took her by the throat, dragging her to the other side of the cell. __Cain couldn't take watching, so she spun on her heel and walked away head held high, trying to keep hold of the last scrap of sanity she had left._

Cain shook her head of the memory and stopped a ways from Gina's celler, looking at it's exhausted, tortured form. She had tired, heartbroken eyes and gashes all over her once-smooth face. Her shoulders were back due to her painfully tied hands. She was laying down, eyes closed. The blond then suddenly looked up and fear and the tiniest bit of hope lit up her face when she saw Cain on the other side of the glass window.

Helena walked in, stopping at the inside of the entrance and looked at Baltar (a bumbling idiot, in her opinion). She glanced over at the clean plate a few feet away from the cylon. "I see you've gotten it to eat. Nice work. Have you gotten it to roll over?" she sneered. "Beg!?" She gave Gina a hard kick to the ribs, looking her in the eyes and regrettingly seeing all hope and fear gone...

Only to be replaced with a look of sorrow that will scar Helena forever. A look that said to move forward. To forget.

_fin_


End file.
